It’s straightforward to cling to outdated resentments, particularly when somebody made your life hell for years on finish…however is it the appropriate factor to do? One Redditor who refused to donate to a fundraiser for his childhood bully’s most cancers remedy is now questioning if he made a mistake.
Person @Quirky-Significance-81 took to the notorious /AmITheAsshole Subreddit for some unbiased perception into the emotionally charged state of affairs. “Apparently, my former classmate Brad (26M) has been recognized with a uncommon type of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and his household is elevating $50K on GoFundMe to assist cowl the price of his remedy,” he defined.
Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma is a critical type of most cancers: In 2023, the American Most cancers Society estimates that about 80,000 folks might be recognized with it, and greater than 20,000 will die of it. So, sure, Brad’s prognosis is devastating information — but it surely doesn’t change the truth that he bullied @Quirky-Significance-81 relentlessly after they had been youthful.
“Brad used to deal with me like sh*t in highschool,” the Redditor recalled. “He was always making enjoyable of my weight and calling me offensive nicknames. I can’t say I felt good once I realized about his prognosis, however I didn’t shed any tears both.”
The drama started when the GoFundMe for Ben’s most cancers remedy made its method to Anna, one other one in every of @Quirky-Significance-81’s former classmates. She added him and a bunch of people to a bunch chat and requested everybody to “donate no matter we might, even when it was a small quantity.”
She additionally informed everybody to provide her message a thumbs-up after they donated — a bit presumptuous, if well-intentioned. And therein lay the rub: @Quirky-Significance-81 didn’t really feel snug donating to his childhood bully.
“Just about the entire folks within the group donated, apart from me,” he defined. “Anna observed this and tagged me, asking me if I noticed her message. That’s once I wrote that I don’t plan to donate due to the best way Brad handled me in highschool. Anna and some different guys stated that I used to be performing like an asshole, that we’re grown-ups now and these things is the previous.”
The Redditor ended up leaving the group to keep away from arguing with all people. “None of them stood up for me when Brad was bullying me, and most of them laughed at his dumb jokes,” he added. “So, AITA right here?”
Basically, AITA Redditors within the remark part sided with him. Bullying is actual and terrible factor, and it’s completely legitimate to not forgive somebody for mocking you even after time has elapsed.
“NTA,” one commenter wrote. “Perhaps it’s up to now, sure, however that doesn’t imply that you need to be over it or forgive him.”
Some people did take problem with @Quirky-Significance-81 dramatically leaving the group chat. Nonetheless, most commenters had been extra involved with Anna’s presumptuousness.
“This isn’t how this stuff work,” wrote one significantly aghast commenter. “You create a GoFundMe so that folks may help in the event that they really feel referred to as to, not so you’ll be able to go shake down each one they ever knew. Fuck all of them. Don’t give them a cent or one other thought.”
“NTA, however [you] in all probability ought to have simply ignored it as an alternative of participating,” another person opined.
“You don’t must donate, however dwelling with the bitterness you’re feeling from this individual goes to impression you greater than [anything] else,” suggested one other commenter. “Get to a degree the place you’ll be able to forgive them. You don’t have to belief them, however you additionally don’t want to hold it endlessly.”
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